Narley

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

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How many programmers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None - It’s a hardware problem.

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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
Very long pause….
“Java.”

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Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

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A very rich lawyer is approached by a charity worker who is concerned that the lawyer didn’t donate any money to charity, despite making over £1m that year. “First of all,” says the lawyer, “my mother is bedridden and gets no help from social services. Second, I have five kids through three divorce marriages. Third, my sister’s husband recently died and she has no one to support her four children.” “I’m terribly sorry,” says the charity worker, “I feel bad about asking for your money.” So you should,” replies the lawyer. “If I’m not giving them any money, why should I give you any?”

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A turkey is chatting with a bull.
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighs the turkey, “but I just haven’t got the energy.” (more…)

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