Really Funny Jokes - June 8, 2008
A cucumber, a Penis and an Olive
A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.
The cucumber says “I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad.”
The olive says “That’s nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza.”
The penis says “You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up”.
A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead
A blonde, brunette and redhead all decide to participate in the swimming of the English channel.
They all decided to do the same stroke as it would be fair and they should all finish at the same time. Not wanting to lose energy quickly, they chose breast stroke.
They all started and a few hours later, the brunette arrives on land, tired.
The next one to complete it, was the redhead, a couple of hours behind the brunette.
Lastly, 6 hours after the brunette had arrived, the blonde clambers on shore, absolutely exhausted.
When the TV crew arrived, they asked her why she took so long, she replied: “Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other two were using their arms.”
The Drunk Man
Two men were sitting at a pub and get pretty drunk. Out of the corner of the first man’s eye, he sees a beautiful young woman.
“I’d love to dance with that.” the first man stated.
“Why don’t you go and ask her then?” the second replies as he nudges him forward.
The first man walks up to the woman and says, “Would you be so kind as to dance with me?”
The woman replies, “Sorry, I’m concentrating on matrimony and would rather sit than dance.”
The first man walks back to his friend dejectedly.
“So what did she say?” he interrogated.
The first man replied, “She said that she was constipated on macaroni and would rather shit in her pants.”
